Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Got to stop babysitting the babysitter, A. says, and he's right. These four walls feel much too close today.

Though I love my girls more than anything, I am often deadly bored as a stay-at-home mom. (Good thing I've moved to a place where I cannot communicate with anyone, then, right? So that working full or even part time is not an option for the time being...) I want to be with them. But the baby/toddler stage must be -- somebody please tell me it's true -- the most tedious. Why must they go away to school at 3, 4, 5, just when they get to be fascinating individuals? I've got to find a way to beat that system. Daycare until five, then homeschool? Does that sound absolutely mad?

Leaves are falling and some trees are already bare. Early in the mornings, without fail, the tiny fenced bits of earth between apartment buildings are raked to remove the leaves and give grass a fighting chance. I'd have thought Muscovites would have abandoned this seemingly futile effort long ago. Given the chill, the lack of light, the soot, and constant foot traffic, what grass does sprout in these tiny yards remains stunted and thin. The miniscule, distantly-spaced blades look traumatized after their daily raking, and the ground between them seems shocked, like a scalp still stinging from too vigorous a brushing. 


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