I am sorry to complain so often lately. But there is a pall over me, or this place. Been scrambling all day, no, for days, with housework, nursing girls and kittens, sick myself, not sleeping. I certainly want to get out of Russia for a break but I feel in my heart that I should be here for the coming week, nursing these cats through their unexpected and deadly illness -- A disagrees and resorted to some pretty awful measures last night to demonstrate it. The girls will be surrounded by doting family from start to finish on this trip, caught up in the joyful hullabaloo of Christmas. A need not spend one hour alone with them, without grandmotherly or uncular backup, if he does not want to, once the flight to Warsaw is finished. I belong here, at this time, the need is clear. Seems to me that no holiday or ceremony is so important that it justifies a needless death, however small the creature.
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No needless death will occur while we are gone if nature/God has so decided - and the medical care given by the vet will at least equal to that that C herself would be able to give to the poor animal at the expense of missing holidays with family (and Ula's baptism). I know it is very hard for C to accept death as part of things, and - more specifically - unfortunately I know that, if it does happen, she will blame herself. But I do not know how to talk to her about it, to make her understand and be okay with it, without (me) getting worked up and being awful.
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